Continuing the story from previous week, we have this story today, again in the form of a letter. In case you have not read the previous part, I strongly recommend you to read it first by clicking here.
Needless to say, this week’s Room for Thoughts is also placed the same way as the previous week – through the story itself.
Guilt and Reconciliation
[Disclaimer: The characters and events portrayed in this prose poem are purely fictional. Any reference to real people, living or dead, or real events, is purely coincidental. Reader’s discretion is advised.]
To, My dearest friend, Whom I have wronged, Probably beyond forgiveness.
Forgive me Please For I am a coward.
I know you trusted me so much. I know how you thought of me As nothing less than your brother.
And I also know that those feelings Are probably dead now.
Still Humans repent. They always seek solace For without that It is meaningless to be 'human'.
And it is in search of solace that I Am writing this letter Though, being the coward I am I do not know whether I will ever be able To post this letter.
I remember that fateful day When I probably made The greatest mistake of my life.
Believe me I had no intention of doing so! I never realised what harm I was causing What sort of rumours I was starting (That would spread like wildfire And burn down the entire forest); No, No, I never imagined it. I never realised it. I was foolish and short-sighted. And by the time I realised what I had done The fire seemed out of control.
Yes, it seemed out of control. And yes, it could be controlled.
And yes, I was the only one Who could douse the fire.
But I was a coward.
Believe me, It probably Pained me more Than you To see people behaving The way they were With you.
But I was ashamed of myself. And I was scared. Of what would happen If I did stand up And say the truth.
And so I took the easy way out. I blocked you out, although it tore my heart apart. I thought everything would be okay soon. As soon as people forgot about the rumours Everything would be normal again, I thought.
I was naive.
People did stop the rumours soon enough. But by then, everything had changed. I could not read your eyes, or your expression, anymore. Something which I had been able to do For so long.
And that was what terrified me. I felt utterly alone And I realised That guilt is a much heavier burden to bear Than truth.
For truth is respected in the end However bitter it may be But guilt? No one even comes to know about it And if they do, They can only sympathise But not empathise For guilt is personal.
The fire has long died down. And with it, our friendship has also turned cold. I have known that for long But I have never been able to acknowledge it.
But now, I am ready.
I remember a quote From Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (Remember how many times we watched it?) You know what I'm about to say But I'll say it anyway,
Imran - 'Aur kitni baar sorry bolna padega?' (How many more times will I have to say sorry?) Arjun - 'Jab tak yahan se (dil se) na nikle na, tab tak.' (Until it comes from here (from your heart))
And I can tell you today That I am sorry From the bottom of my heart. I really am.
I know it will be hard for you. I know you might never think of me As the same. But still All I ask of you Is to forgive me.
Hoping for the best,
Anonymous’s Erstwhile Best Friend
That’s all for this week! I’ll be back next week with some more snippets and thoughts! Thanks for reading!